What's in a name?

"It means one who laughs with you, whilst endangering you," Zuma told an ABC journalist in an interview last year.

In the frantic build-up to the conference in Polokwane next week to choose the ANC - and thus the country’s next leader, Zuma has been doing the rounds. Addressing a group of working class people from the Cape Flats on crime one week, flying to America to meet with elite business leaders the next, and speaking at a communist rally a few days later... he certainly does manage to fit in just everywhere doesn’t he?

I remember reading an article in some or other Afrikaans glossie, where they organised a braai with a host of Afrikaans luminaries such as Steve Hofmeyer and our very own JZ. They all got on like a house on fire apparently. He can laugh his way through just about anything, including a rape trial and the firing of his financial advisor for corruption.

But like his name says, behind that laugh is something deeply dangerous. His father knew it and the ANC, when they go to vote at the much-hyped conference in Polokwane next week, would do well to heed it.

At the crime summit in Mitchell’s Plain Zuma was all smiles and laughter until I tried to pin him down on actual specifics. His smile broke down in a serious way as he basically told me off for expecting too much from him. The man is genius at saying everything and promising nothing. Which is why he’s such a good politician I guess.

He has the chameleon’s gift to say and do the right thing as occasion demands. But post-Polokwane the real Zuma will stand up, very likely wielding a machine gun and spouting nonsense about HIV-curing showers and gays that should be knocked out. One can only hope that those will be the least of his misdemeanors if he does become president: a prospect that is looking increasingly likely.