Brain strain

The word on the street is victory. It tastes dangerous. Absurd. Sweet. I imagine it sets the air in Zimbabwe aglow. As if men, women, boys, children, soldiers and police are mentally taking pictures- shining the flash of internal cameras on the scenes before them. Winding queues at the polling stations, independent observers doing their rounds, riot police patrolling on their tanks. Because maybe, just maybe, this election will be different. For the first time since independence in 1980, just maybe Zimbabweans will be able to put a new person in power. I wonder… I hope.

Don’t be fooled by Zuma’s jovial façade. The charismatic leader whose warmth and ready smile is seen as an answer to Thabo Mbeki’s ivory tower style of leadership was dubbed Gedleyehlekisa at birth. The middle name is an ominous portent of things to come.

"It means one who laughs with you, whilst endangering you," Zuma told an ABC journalist in an interview last year.

In the frantic build-up to the conference in Polokwane next week to choose the ANC - and thus the country’s next leader, Zuma has been doing the rounds. Addressing a group of working class people from the Cape Flats on crime one week, flying to America to meet with elite business leaders the next, and speaking at a communist rally a few days later... he certainly does manage to fit in just everywhere doesn’t he?

I remember reading an article in some or other Afrikaans glossie, where they organised a braai with a host of Afrikaans luminaries such as Steve Hofmeyer and our very own JZ. They all got on like a house on fire apparently. He can laugh his way through just about anything, including a rape trial and the firing of his financial advisor for corruption.

But like his name says, behind that laugh is something deeply dangerous. His father knew it and the ANC, when they go to vote at the much-hyped conference in Polokwane next week, would do well to heed it.

At the crime summit in Mitchell’s Plain Zuma was all smiles and laughter until I tried to pin him down on actual specifics. His smile broke down in a serious way as he basically told me off for expecting too much from him. The man is genius at saying everything and promising nothing. Which is why he’s such a good politician I guess.

He has the chameleon’s gift to say and do the right thing as occasion demands. But post-Polokwane the real Zuma will stand up, very likely wielding a machine gun and spouting nonsense about HIV-curing showers and gays that should be knocked out. One can only hope that those will be the least of his misdemeanors if he does become president: a prospect that is looking increasingly likely.

Comedian Chris Rock once described America's relationship with Africa as the "rich uncle who sent you to University... and later molested you."

As unsavoury as that description may be its the most appropriate one I've yet to hear after a whole day on the wires doing the African beat.

The normal coup d’etats, tribal warfare and genocide reports are slowly being replaced by reports of America and China vying for influence on the war-torn but mineral rich continent.

Bush has just announced the formation of a military command unit for Africa, to ‘bolster peace-keeping’ attempts, while Chines President Hu Jintao is in the middle of his 8 day tour of the continent.

They're not just here to help. America fears increased growth of Al-Qaeda networks in North Africa while China is practically drooling at the prospect of hassle-free oil for its cancerously growing economy. And if Sudan can provide it, the Darfur crisis is a piddling little problem it needn't worry itself with. China buys two-thirds of Sudan's oil, and sells it weapons and military aircraft.

Britain has warned China that its offer of billions of dollars in unconditional aid and cheap loans to African governments risks driving back into debt countries that have only just benefited from debt relief, and undermines efforts to create democratic and accountable administrations.

If America is the uncle who helps you and then molests you, China is the step-mum who presses money into your hand and leaves you in the forest with a trail of crumbs and a wicked witch around the corner.

Can I take the analogy any further? Chinese gifts be the gingerbread house that'll have our African mouths watering, buts it'll leave us in a cage of our own making if we’re not careful.

I love this ad. Take that Nestle. I've been reading up recently on the lies that are distributed as fact by the multi-billion dollar dairy industry in America. Myths about osteoporosis, calcium and so on. I thought I was pretty aware of these issues but I've been duped with regards to info about calcium. Check out these sites for more on that:

www.dumpdairy.com

www.milksucks.com

I checked out the official website for the National Dairy Council in America and the info was
completely opposed to that above. It smacked of spin and corporate-sponsored think tank justifications for drinking milk. My favourite was:

People with lactose maldigestion who include milk and other lactose-containing dairy foods in their diet may actually improve their tolerance to lactose

Proper calcium intake is important for bone health and avoiding osteoporosis. The U.S. government is concerned that people aren’t getting enough calcium.

Ok then, Big Brother. Lets all overdose on milk. We'll be sick and ailing but hey business will be good!

As an aside, isn't this interesting:

humans are the only mammals that drink milk as adults. But most people -- about 60 percent and primarily those of Asian and African descent -- stop producing lactase, the enzyme required to digest milk, as they mature. People of northern European descent, however, tend to retain the ability to produce the enzyme and drink milk throughout life.

Just thought I'd get my race obsession in there. Apparently it is primarily people whose ancestors came from places where dairy herds could be raised safely and economically, such as in Europe, who have developed the ability to digest milk.

I'm going back to soya.

For those of you who have Gmail, you would have noticed the targetted advertising along the right hand side of the page. I think it works on keywords in your email, or something. I saw a link to a website called NNIA: Nestle Nutrition Institute Africa. I thought that was pretty interesting given the scandals associated with Nestle in the past, especially the issue of infant milk formulas. I clicked on the link and found this:

Corporate Commitment > Social Commitment

Operating in the developing parts of the world presents many challenges for companies. Poor infrastructures, lack of facilities, particularly good clean water, poverty and malnutrition all present unique demands on food companies. In order for us to make a success of our business, we need to understand the environment within which we operate and to take the necessary measures to support development and stimulate economic activity for the sustainable growth of our enterprise. Nestle has for many years been committed to the reconstruction and development and to assist under-served developing communities meet their basic and essential human needs.

Interesting huh? Then I found this in a list of Top 10 Corporate Evil-doers, here.

Nestle USA The problem of illegal and forced child labour is rampant in the chocolate industry, because more than 40% of the world's cocoa supply comes from the Ivory Coast, a country that the US State Department estimates had approximately 109,000 child labourers working in hazardous conditions on cocoa farms. In 2001, Save the Children Canada reported that 15,000 children between 9 and 12 years old, many from impoverished Mali, had been tricked or sold into slavery on West African cocoa farms, many for just $30 each. Nestle, the third largest buyer of cocoa from the Ivory Coast, is well aware of the tragically unjust labour practices taking place on the farms with which it continues to do business. Nestle and other chocolate manufacturers agreed to end the use of abusive and forced child labour on cocoa farms by July 1, 2005, but they failed to do so. Nestle is also notorious for its aggressive marketing of infant formula in poor countries in the 1980s. Because of this practice, Nestle is still one of the most boycotted corporations in the world, and its infant formula is still controversial. In Italy in 2005, police seized more than two million liters of Nestle infant formula that was contaminated with the chemical isopropylthioxanthone (ITX).

So much for "assist[ing] under-served developing communities meet their basic and essential human needs"  I now feel terribly guilty about the two cups of hot chocolate I had this morning. It's Cadbury from now on for me, with Nestle relegated to the same place as MacDonalds, Coke-cola and Nike in my life... my personal axis of evil has a new member.

 It is now a generally agreed fact (well, between Tshego and I that is, which makes it general fact) that the Grocotts experience is in fact entirely farcical and perhaps an elaborate joke, albeit in very bad taste. Everything that has been taught to us in the past three years of media studies is audaciously ignored by these media whores. We're pretty much suffering from “ideological heartburn” now, that entirely apt term as coined by the inimitable Angelo Fick (journalism lecturer).

There have been a myriad of so-called golden rules that have been traversed during our time here. But today's particular jagged little pill came in the form of false oppositions: yup- that timeless favourite of sensationalist journalists the world over.

The final verdict for the two month long Zuma rape is being announced today. As I write the Judge is giving his summary of the case, before he announces the verdict. Our editor, Jonathan, asked for volunteers to work on the story. I put up my hand, thinking i needed to up the number of news stories in my portfolio. Bad idea. I broke my personal rule that has been keeping me sane here at Grocotts: never do a story with, or initiated by Jonathan. I get by pretty well if I come up with story ideas myself and execute them with the help of Sim and my classmates input now and then. The goal is to have minimal interaction with Jonathan. Let's just say we have ideological differences. Namely, he doesn't seem to know that it exists. Anyway, I realised that I had forgotten my rule as I sat in his office and heard what he wanted us to do for the story.

Today was RATHER amusing. So I had this brilliant story idea about a Rhodes law student who had just come back from Serbia and won an international human rights moot competition (moot=mock trial), against universities like Oxford, etc. I told my editor, Jonathan, this and he loved the idea. However, I failed to mention to him that Rujeko, the student, also happens to be one of my very best friends.

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So, keen as I was to catch up with Jax after her trip I tried to plan how to see her for the longest time possible. I figured an hour for the interview would be reasonable, than another hour for my lunch break, which would leave me plenty of time to do the article afterwards. In my mind, the two hours I would spend out the office was perfectly justified. Ok, so the entire two hours was spent cackling and laughing raucously with Jax at Red Cafe, but my editor didn't need to know that. Except that he did, when he walked into said Cafe to have his own lunch while Jax and I were in the middle of a particularly funny moment, hands flying about and laughing, my dictaphone, camera and notepad sadly neglected on the far end of the table.

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So after whispering, well not so much whispering as yelping out in a panicked voice, "Jax, my editor has just walked in!" I sheepishly introduced him to her, and watched as he sat at the table right next to ours. Then I checked my watch and noted that I had indeed left the office two hours ago. Then I asked for the bill.

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It's barely midway through the week and already I have reason to say Ugh. Ugh.

Why the expression of disgust? Well a bevy of reasons really. Grocotts is NOT going according to plan- my mental plan that is. I'm increasingly beginning to feel as though we're really just being exploited here. Instead of being taught how to write- which we should be entitled to, given that we're paying about 20 grand for the privilege- we're slogging away at a local paper alongside reporters doing the exact same work as us, but who are being paid for it. So essentially, we students are paying to do to work the paper woud otherwise have to pay for.

Dominic was chatting to me about my latest blog entry and I realised it was a little reductionist. Not all the white kids walked out of course. It wasn't even a racial thing. What I meant was that at all the student summits I would go to it would either be dominated by formerly advantaged institutions (Wits, Tuks, RAU, Stellenbosch) or formerly disadvantaged institutions (UWC, Fort Hare, etc).

We arrive at Johannesburg central station after a 14 hour bus trip that wasn't as gruelling as one might imagine. After a flurry of confused calls to the department of education we are finally fetched. Good thing too... central Jo'burg not being the most desirable place to hang around in for too long with lots of bags. That said, its pleasing to be back in my hometown after little Grahamstown, and I take to smiling happily at all the busy joburgers scurrying about who mostly just glare back at me.